This is dedicated to Francisco. The love of my life. Happy 12th years of marriage. God blessed us the day he put us together. I couldn’t have prayed, wished, or hoped for a better man in my life. A great father to our son. An awesome human being all around. I love you Francisco. More than I love our son!
So, as odd as this may seem to some of you, I love Francisco more than I do Frankie! Francisco knows it too and understands my concept behind it all. Now, let me explain before you start throwing daggers at me. Frankie is the center of our world but he isn’t OUR world as a whole and i don’t feel a tad bit guilty about admitting this. Loving Francisco more doesn’t make me a bad mother. It is not that I am betraying Frankie at all. I love my son, but I love my husband more.
Frankie is a good kid. He is polite, confident and joyful. Every time I see Frankie my heart feels pride and joy! I believe that by him knowing that Daddy comes first in my life and I in Francisco’s life he will grow up to be more successful and have a happier and healthier life. The reason is because his mother was not always focused on his desires, needs and wants more than what is required of us as parents. Surely it’s a positive thing for children to grow up without the pressure of being a focal point of our adoration and, instead, to have Francisco’s and my love for each other as the good example of a loving relationship. The Bible tells us this: Genesis 2:24 – Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. This tells me that our son will one day leave us for someone else. That is how it is meant to be. Frankie doesn’t need me to be with him day in and day out or every single night. He actually benefits from us taking a break from always doing things together as a family. He has his own alone time and has to figure out what to do on his own time and we have ours. Even since day one we agreed that co-sleeping with a kid was a HUGE No for us and we know couples and family who believe in that but to each their own. OUR bedroom is a sacred space for us two. Frankie benefits from having his own room too. The hubby and I relax in OUR OWN ROOM! We even make Frankie knock anytime he comes into OUR space. By establishing that boundary from day one I know that Frankie will thrive when he sees mommy and daddy being ONE. He will be a better man from seeing Francisco and I resolve conflict together, how he sees us form a real team and back each other up and how we put each other first before his needs and wants! After all, the Bible says that the husband and wife are one flesh, not the kids and the mom or the kids and the dad. They may come from us, but we are united with our husband, not our kids. When we grow old it is our spouse that will be by our side and if the day comes when Frankie berates me for not having loved him enough or more than his father, I have my answer ready. Nicely of course, I will tell him that I hope one day he too will find someone to love as much as I love his daddy. I will tell him not to settle for anything less than what he saw every time he saw me looking at Francisco, my husband and my love! What more could any loving mother want for her beloved children but to have the greatest love of all? I have that in my husband and I wish that for my son.