My sons’ first curse word.

Last night while eating dinner, Frankie threw a left curve ball at us that left us stunned! Frankie had already finished his dinner and was off playing while my husband and I talked over ours. That’s how it normally happens over at our household and I have a very special post on why we normally or should I say not always eat dinner as a family and why it works for us! So, he comes to us and says his friend so and so got in trouble today. We asked why and he says “because he said what the f**k?” I nearly spit my zucchini out my mouth! I had to ask ONE more time to make sure I hear correctly. Sure enough… My son drops the F-bomb again. Documenting his first time cursing as January 24th. Around 7pm. Year 2018!

We were in such shock that I think I scared the living sh*t out of him. As a parent we told him that yes that was a VERY good reason why his friend WOULD get in trouble in school. We told him that is one of the worst words he could ever use and that even as an adult we don’t use it and if we need to tell someone else that someone used it we say F-word instead. Then Frankie reminded us that just like the F-word we do not say Gods name in vain and that we should also only use Gods name in prayer. My husband and I agreed with him and when I felt proudness overcome me, he shattered it by telling me: “Mommy you always use God’s name in vain. You always say Oh My God! And you shouldn’t only in prayer”. ?!?! I mean, what can I say? Besides that he was right and to please let me know the next time I do it so that I may stop doing so.

We continued the conversation on using bad words and how he should immediately tell his teacher because 1. He might get blamed, even if he is telling the culprit not to use such word, 2. That was the teacher can address the issue with the classmate saying it and 3. If he repeats such bad word he will spread it to other classmates that might not know about it and he would be spreading evil that way. We told him that every time he says a bad word that it is the devil working through him and spreading evil. OMG, why did I tell him that? He started to cry because he felt bad that he had used the word to tell us.

This morning he still reminded me that the F-word was bad and I got a chance to talk to his teacher. The teacher assured him that he would be doing good if he tells her when ANYONE of his friends use that or ANY other bad word. She even made mention that he doesn’t hear his mommy and daddy use those bad words right? Thank the Lord p high he reassured his teacher he doesn’t hear us with that kind of language. I would have died right there! (Mental note to stop having a sailors mouth) He did surprise us by asking who in his friends’ life must be using that language because they were bad people.

Oh the things our kids say! They sure keep us on our toes. I can clearly see him correcting me for all my OMG’s!

MOTIVATION & WHERE TO FIND IT

Motivation is hard to find at times. Being lazy is the easiest thing we could do as humans. It is something that comes natural because it is so simple. We are all lazy in our own way. The good news is that it is something we can change! I am a very driven and motivated individual. At least I like to think so! 🙂 I am an overachiever and a go-getter! (Not even sure on spelling, but bare with me. English is not my first language and don’t you dare correct me on my grammar!) I have to-do’s for everything, planners for everything, lists for everything and everyone! My son had a calendar and picture planner that I specifically made for him to organize himself since he was two! It has gone down in size for him since he has already been molded to expect certain things that must be done! For example, if you ask him what we do on Thursdays after dinner he will quickly tell you that it is weigh-in day! LOL! My husband and I have been on weight watchers for about 6 years off and on, but more into it lately to lose the last couple of pounds we need to. Frankie gets to go with us. He also weighs in and we tell him that everyone in that room is trying to get healthy. That we are all winners there and he loves it! The point is that he has in his head that on Thursdays he can’t play because there is no time. He also knows that he is only allowed TV time for an hour max on Tuesday, Thursday (while he eats) and Saturday and Sunday!

In structuring a calendar of to-do’s he also is a great kid in putting away his dirty clothes as soon as he takes it off. he knows there is a routine before going to bed. He gets motivated from feeling accomplished and that is what we adults feel in a way when something gets done. When someone tells me they are not motivated to do this or that, I ask them, but don’t you want to feel accomplished? Then why not just do it!!! Here’s the thing… If you have ten things on your to-do list and you only do 3 or 4 or even just one, well… that in itself is an accomplishment! You did one more thing above zero and that in my book makes you a hero! (Anyone beside me laugh at that? Please let me know.) Every morning before we leave the house we play the same song. A worship song of your choice will do. Something up lifting! It just puts you in that mindset to conquer the world and what better way to start your morning than praising God? Our song is “Here I am Lord” Composed by Dan Schutte. There are different versions out there. We prefer a live version with the audience praising God and singing along!

Another part of my routine is writing down my daily goals. I do this EVERYDAY. At times I do not accomplish all but if you write them down you are already going in with the mentality that you will do them! I also write down 3 things that I ask myself every morning. 1) How will I grow today? 2) How will I give? and 3) What am I thankful for? I have a journal just for that and it might be something so simple that you write, but make it your own and that will motivate you so much! If you start your day happy then you will end your day happy. I tell this to Frankie all the time. The person in our household that has a hard time following that philosophy is myself. We all have those days that we wake up and something bothers us and just sets s sour tone for the rest of the day. Lately I have learned how to manage those emotions and redirect them to more positive things. it has helped me greatly because I would wake up and just pick a fight with my husband or Frankie for no reason. I realized how this was hurting us as a family. I am also making it a point to smile more. This is something that is extremely hard for me. I don’t want to be fake about it and it doesn’t come naturally. So, it is something that I am working on. It is a continuous struggle for me because I always have this “bitch” face or frown on me and it makes me seem mad at the world when in reality I am not. I am just a very serious gal! I promise. This is hurting me because it makes me not approachable.

Finally, search for motivational videos. Start affirmations for you, your family, etc. When I get into work I put my headsets in and here something inspiring everyday. Some things on repeat more than others because it is what gets me motivated! So go for it! just get it done! What are some of the things you do to get motivated? Any challenges?

Purging MOST of my belongings and what it has taught me.

By all means, I am very new to this declutter thing. About a month a go (maybe less than that even) I went on a girls night out with a good church friend. We both really needed a girl’s night out to talk about organizing and budgeting. Of course we did that and more! Mostly talk about our kids! That is what mothers do right? Well, one of our major topics that night was about decluttering the home and how we acquire so much crap over time. How there were more important things in life than a Gucci bag or a pair of Manolo Blahnik shoes!

After that night I did a lot of thinking. So much so that I have been un a purging spree! I started to re-evaluate what is important to me. What the significance of material things in my life meant and have. What it was taking from me and my family. So the easy part of this was that fewer things meant a more simplified life. Or so it seems? So far for the last two weeks I have been bagging, donating, giving away tons of things that were just a grab and get rid of easy task. It got harder after the first three days. I started to really think whether I still wanted this or not? Was it worth giving away? It cost me money, it’s too valuable, etc.

I came to halt on the fifth day and wanted to give up . Instead I decided to do more research, reading on the topic, watch videos of others who have gone thru the same experience, etc. and I got inspired again. Not only did it create some sort of spark in me, it got me beyond the just decluttering the house but becoming a minimalist. let me explain before I go on what a minimalist means to ME! You can look up whatever definition the internet gives you and go from there, but to me it simply means living with less. it is the removal of material things that distracts us from the things we really value in life. I’ll be honest. I watched some videos on minimalism and what some people have done and I was like OMG! These people ain’t got sh*t!!! How can they live like that? Then I started to see a pattern. Most NOT all where these free spirited, roaming the world people who lived out of their suit case. Most are vegan and do yoga. Seriously… I was not about to get into yoga or give up my bacon! No way! So I took it to heart that I was going to go this route a different way. To be honest, I might have gone too far. LOL!

I have begun with my bedroom and as I write this only 80% of so has been re-evaluated. Mostly my belongings like shoes and clothes. I had over 300 pairs of shoes and over 800 items of clothing. No wonder I took over an hour to pick out what I was wearing. I am proud to say that as of yesterday I now only have 30 pairs of shoes and about 79 items of clothing not counting gym wear, bras and underwear. I think I can go with less but half of that I am keeping for about 3 months and see if it really gets used or not. I got rid of so much and have donated so much. I have also begun the kitchen and 30% of it has been purged. I have a lot of work ahead but with just those simple changes I have come to noticed that I am more efficient in the morning. I feel less overwhelmed and I am looking forward to less cleaning of things around the house and concentrate on what really matters most. My family! My community! God’s Church!

Doing this so far has required a certain commitment. I have broken this down to 30 minute sessions a day. At times I do more than that! Before I started this I prayed. A lot!!! I prayed for discernment. I prayed for peace. I prayed and asked God for forgiveness. When did I become so materialistic? Having more meant I was wealthier, happier, of higher status and in reality I was being buried by it all. I started to pair this materialistic way of living to the issue of having self-acceptance issues and having a comfort problem with food. They might seem to NOT go hand in hand, but to me they are. one feeds the other and it has become a cycle of ups and downs. I am seeing that I need to feel my emotions and not feed them. to be honest with you on the food topic, these last two weeks have been so hard, so emotional that I have not committed to my diet. I have binged on food and continue to do so. Although I am exercising, I have not stopped eating these emotions away. I’m working on it, but I feel like I am working on so many things right now and guess what? Some might tell me to take it easy, slow down, do one and then finish the other. Whatever!?!? I want to just do it! I want to get it over with! I want to feel free! This is what all this has come down to. Freedom! Not being bound to things. I will concentrate on my diet next week. (At least I hope I will) I need to tie some loose ends at home with my materialistic ways.

All the purging I have been doing has not been easy. I am hurt inside. I’ve had second thoughts. It has not been easy. I saw hundreds and hundreds of dollars inside plastic bags that used to have meaning to me and as I looked at it all piled up on my balcony waiting to be taken to a donation center, I tear up. This has been extremely hard for me. I love to dress up, I love to have more choices, but after some “soul searching” I have come to the realization that all that is taking a lot of time from not only my husband and son, but from myself. I am giving people the wrong image of who Alejandra really is. I am not cute clothes, pretty bows and a killer shoe collection. I want them to see who I really am and what I am made off beyond material things and that is the reason why I want all that out of my life. I am worth so much more that that pile of “things” that is sitting in my balcony waiting to be taken away.

With all this going on please look forward to other things I am purging out of my life on a new post coming soon.